1 month and two days ago...
This entry is not written for your reading pleasure, but rather for my own personal memory. Dont curse and swear if this entry is not entertaining or whatsoever.
I was happily watching SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE , when i was enjoying myself to the fullest, the fucking news came, MY GRANDFATHER JUST PASSED AWAY.
"Oh what the hell," i thought.
It was 21Nov 2006, Monday.
Then the usual stuff proceeded, with the chinese funeral and stuff, actually they were nothing much. There was a practice that required any one in the family to burn joss papers continuously for the four days of the funeral and without letting the flame go out. It is said to light the way for the deceased to go to the nether world?
Was i really very sad during the funeral? No, i would say. Until when it was 3am in the morning where everyone was sleeping around the coffin and i was the only one left to burn the papers.
It was then i remembered the times that i spent with him, i cried sliently.
I tried to take that in my stride, but at that point in time, i cant,really cant.
Thinking back, was he an absolutely perfect role model?
yes and no.
Let me just tell you what he did:
1) HE WAS A GAMBLER, not an abusive one who extorts money from his family( or maybe he was but i really dont know). He did not fufil his duty as a father of his family and only cared about gambling. My poor popo had to work at a CONSTRUCTION SITE and grow vegetables to make ends meet. She and her children suffered a lot, but now she's a lucky woman with lots of fillial children and grandchildren. My father told me once, my gong gong was very clever; he could built the exact same house just after looking at someone built it ONCE. yes, just once, but he was nt interested in his job and often went to gamble. I despise him for that.
However, he treated me very well and i could say that he brought me up, and really he brought me to school everyday while i was growing up. Since nursery, he would fetch me from the kindergarden and i would demand him to carry me on his back ( i was light and skinny then!) and we would pass by this mama shop and i would buy my jack & jill barbequed flavour potato chips from the shop before going home. EVERYDAY, when i was 2years old to 6 years old, a total of 4 years. A very dedicated gong gong i would say :D
Primary 1, i was still staying at my old house then and i could jolly well walk to school. Still everyday, he took me to school and fetched me everyday, regardless rain or shine. Again, dedication.
Primary 2, i moved to my new home, i couldnt walk to school anymore, i had to take a feeder bus. He once again took me to the bus stop everyday and looked at me board the bus before heading home.
As i grew older, i became more independant, i did not really need his help anymore. Subsequently, i went to school alone, but new problems arised. My ankle would hurt occasionally, and i would be in pain. i would run to his room and asked him to put ointment on my ankle. He did that and even massaged my leg, making it fell even better. Thank you.
Not long after, he moved to my uncle's house, but he would reutrn every sunday, and i would have a talk with him. Nothing much, just a small chat between a gong gong and his grandson.
Come to think of it, i was really happy that i talked to him, at least i communicated and understood his feelings about some stuff. Once again thank you for the encouragements that you gave me.
He really did a lot for me and i sincerely cherish those moments i spent with him. Thank you and i will miss you lots. Rest in peace.
One month after his demise, i thought i would not cry when typing this entry, but i still did. Good night guys, good night to you too :)
i think the song waipo is absolutely suitable for my mood now. T.T
I was happily watching SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE , when i was enjoying myself to the fullest, the fucking news came, MY GRANDFATHER JUST PASSED AWAY.
"Oh what the hell," i thought.
It was 21Nov 2006, Monday.
Then the usual stuff proceeded, with the chinese funeral and stuff, actually they were nothing much. There was a practice that required any one in the family to burn joss papers continuously for the four days of the funeral and without letting the flame go out. It is said to light the way for the deceased to go to the nether world?
Was i really very sad during the funeral? No, i would say. Until when it was 3am in the morning where everyone was sleeping around the coffin and i was the only one left to burn the papers.
It was then i remembered the times that i spent with him, i cried sliently.
I tried to take that in my stride, but at that point in time, i cant,really cant.
Thinking back, was he an absolutely perfect role model?
yes and no.
Let me just tell you what he did:
1) HE WAS A GAMBLER, not an abusive one who extorts money from his family( or maybe he was but i really dont know). He did not fufil his duty as a father of his family and only cared about gambling. My poor popo had to work at a CONSTRUCTION SITE and grow vegetables to make ends meet. She and her children suffered a lot, but now she's a lucky woman with lots of fillial children and grandchildren. My father told me once, my gong gong was very clever; he could built the exact same house just after looking at someone built it ONCE. yes, just once, but he was nt interested in his job and often went to gamble. I despise him for that.
However, he treated me very well and i could say that he brought me up, and really he brought me to school everyday while i was growing up. Since nursery, he would fetch me from the kindergarden and i would demand him to carry me on his back ( i was light and skinny then!) and we would pass by this mama shop and i would buy my jack & jill barbequed flavour potato chips from the shop before going home. EVERYDAY, when i was 2years old to 6 years old, a total of 4 years. A very dedicated gong gong i would say :D
Primary 1, i was still staying at my old house then and i could jolly well walk to school. Still everyday, he took me to school and fetched me everyday, regardless rain or shine. Again, dedication.
Primary 2, i moved to my new home, i couldnt walk to school anymore, i had to take a feeder bus. He once again took me to the bus stop everyday and looked at me board the bus before heading home.
As i grew older, i became more independant, i did not really need his help anymore. Subsequently, i went to school alone, but new problems arised. My ankle would hurt occasionally, and i would be in pain. i would run to his room and asked him to put ointment on my ankle. He did that and even massaged my leg, making it fell even better. Thank you.
Not long after, he moved to my uncle's house, but he would reutrn every sunday, and i would have a talk with him. Nothing much, just a small chat between a gong gong and his grandson.
Come to think of it, i was really happy that i talked to him, at least i communicated and understood his feelings about some stuff. Once again thank you for the encouragements that you gave me.
He really did a lot for me and i sincerely cherish those moments i spent with him. Thank you and i will miss you lots. Rest in peace.
One month after his demise, i thought i would not cry when typing this entry, but i still did. Good night guys, good night to you too :)
i think the song waipo is absolutely suitable for my mood now. T.T
posted by jiateng at 12:32 am
4 Comments:
your grandfather would be glad to have you as his grandson =)
its good that you blogged! =) use it to release everything thats bottled up in you.. =) ... and btw, merry xmas =)...
~zongg
memories are the only things people can hold on to forever. if there is forever.
merry christmas :)
ppl come n go.memories stay.let these be with u for the rest of ur life=]i dun think i'm tt close with my grandfather.haha.ya.
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